There Is No Right Way To Be A Man, Woman or Person
October 31st, 2020
As a child socialized as female, I would distance myself from other girls. “I’m not like them” I would think. While that was true for reasons that little me did not yet understand, it was also internal misogyny.
I went out of my way to not fall into stereotypes of what it meant to be a woman. As a 8-year-old, I remember watching the move The Gods Must Be Crazy II and vowing to myself I would never be as weak or as helpless as the female lead. I promised myself I would learn skills that would make me a survivor. Her story would not be my future.
There are too many strengths, interests, expressions, styles and attitudes to say "this is what it means to be a woman/man/person". The individual gets to decide what it means for them. Some like to be taken care of, other like to be care givers. Some want to leave a mark, others are content with a simple life. Let's separate traits from gender, as there is no right way to meet others expectations. The best thing to do is just be authentically yourself.
What I would go back and tell my 8-year-old self is that gender has nothing to with your character. Also - there are more than two genders! Character traits are something you may have control over, but do not attach generalizations or harmful stereotypes of gender to specific traits. I have crossed paths with more strong women than weak and more empathetic men than aggressive.
Femme does not mean weak.
Masc does not mean strong.
Strong is strong.
There is no one or right way to be a man, woman or person. You choose how you want to create yourself.